An Evening With Teenage Men...?

Last night, I enjoyed the evening with six of the young men from the Rhetoric (High School) class that I work with at the Garden School. With great satisfaction, Rachael and I prepared both our home and a fine meal for these fellas. I have always deeply enjoyed preparing food for guests (for reasons that may at some point demand a post of their own), so having them over to gorge themselves on Spaghetti with meatballs and home made cookies was a delight.

During the meal, we shared pretty light banter. I was not out to preach a Edwards-esque sermon full of fire or brimstone. Instead, I was moved to simply enjoy a couple of goofy stories and some old pictures of me as a kid... Needless to say, they got a big kick out of seeing the portly Mr. K with the big dimples (back when I was about 8). They laughed at the Mr. K with the peachfuzz stuck to his top lip (about 14 or so). They even got to see the long haired Mr. K dressed up as a cheerleader, complete with pigtails (for the High School powderpuff football game, aged 18).

As I gave them the "2-penny tour" of the house, I made sure to show them not only my small library, but also our small DVD collection. Looking through the books, I showed them a variety of titles, fiction and non-fiction, works ranging from Theology to Coaching Football to the Classics to Military History to the Far Side Collection. As we turned to the DVD's, they saw another surprising blend of titles. One of the students said, "Gee Mr. Koschak, you have some cool movies. I am surprised." I laughed at that one. It seems there may be a hidden side to the "Benevolent Dictator," after all.

I am not sure that there was a conscious plan in all of this, aside from just letting them have a look at my world away from the classroom. I suppose that I hope they will feel comfortable talking with me if I show them that I was young once, as well, and that my home is open to them for a visit. These fellas are now in High School, and in the next few years, they will embark on another phase of their lives. I wanted them to get comfortable with being talked to like men, as I feel that is what they are. A small interaction at the table was, I think, actually pretty profound in demonstrating this.

During our time gathered around the table, I made the off-handed comment that these guys are "teenage men," which in my mind, is what they are. On hearing this, one of the students paused, leaned back in his chair, and said thoughtfully, "I like the sound of that." They all kind of chuckled a bit at that, and others made the observation that it sounded better than the more common "teenage boys." I would probably agree.

I am not entirely sure that I appreciate or understand exactly what our culture seems to mean by the term "teenager." If it is a simple acknowledgement of years spent on this planet, then sure. But it always seems to carry more weight than that. Sometimes it is ominous, or sometimes it is dismissive, or sometimes it is an excuse, but it always seems to be more than just a person's age. I'm not sure that I care for so many of these implied meanings anymore...

I look at these people and I see "teenagers" struggling with issues and difficulties and even sins that adults struggle with, too. I see a hunger for real, honest fellowship and a real, honest Christian life. I see disillusionment with the standard "church-thing" with its' loosely applicable teaching and seemingly false "fellowship," which I also see in many adults I know. I see the same terrible spiritual war being raged among these "teens" that I see among their parents or within myself. I see a great need mirrored there that I see in most everybody I meet...

So to me, thinking of them as "teenage men" really makes more sense. This is why I try to talk to them like men, and I push them to carry themselves like men; not just like people who can drive, vote, or buy beer, but like MEN. God save us if we confuse the two!!!

This little exchange actually caught a hold of something much larger, I think: the greater reason that I hope to have this interaction with them. I want them to see them be MEN and think of themselves as MEN and make MANLY decisions. Ultimately, this is the Lord's work to bring to completion, but I may be a stepping stone along the way. I hope that this path proves straight and true for them.