You see, he and I share a certain mental aptitude that is sometimes misunderstood or even ridiculed. Words like "smart, genius, brilliant, bright, gifted" can sound like they might be compliments, and mostly they are meant as such. But there are times that these words are nearly derogatory.
"That guy is too smart." "He is SOO smart." "That guy is one of those geniuses." "We can't all be so brilliant." "You sound like some kind of genius." "I'm not a genius like YOU." "Good grief, you are brilliant." "You are way smarter than me." It goes on...
These may seem innocuous at first, but when a person hears this enough, it becomes nearly sinister. To be honest, there are times when someone says these things, and you nearly wince. It throws cold water on what could otherwise be a nice conversation.
But why? Why does it have that effect? How could it?
Well, my friend understands how it is. He is a very bright guy who is stimulated by deeper things. He and I discussed Theology and Hermeneutics and topics for Doctoral Dissertations. We enjoyed the electronic "talk" and both came away a little reassured.
In most conversations we encounter, the topics are superficial and incredibly awkward to partake of. Most social functions are tough to engage in, as we are not interested in hunting, fishing, most TV programs, pop music, most of the books on the current best-seller lists, or small block Chevys. Believe me that we ache for connection, but alas, the outlet is not a match for our power cord.
Even attending church is incredibly tough most weeks. It is usually marked by grating songs of questionable theology or lyrics, contrived social times, poorly worded prayers, and anemic messages which starve from lack of preparation and are chained to three point outlines instead of the text. In the words of my dear friend, "at church I sit on the sidelines until a tough issue comes up, at which point I am called on for a few minutes of contribution before I return to the bench."
I liken it to a gorgeous woman who nobody talks to all night at a gathering, but suddenly, someone calls her over to their group. She knows this is probably going to be odd, but out of a need to connect, she surrenders and joins their circle. Then, she is asked to stand there quietly while they look at her. When they gaze their fill, she is dismissed. That is how being "the smart guy" feels much of the time.
It is as though you are a stranger who speaks a foreign tongue. You are in a marketplace, without the local currency.
It is so terribly lonely. That is what my friend was suffering from, a malady for which we both needed treatment. You see, he and I were nearly neighbors and we shared many a discussion. We challenged each other, but mostly just liked one another's company. At times, our words were few, but the fellowship was deep. Sometimes, it was enough to walk together and look at squirrels playing in the trees. When I moved back to Colorado, these precious times were taken from us.
My friend's heart is far larger than his intellect, but most never see past the latter... I feel that I could, and that he returned this humane service. May his tribe increase!
Intelligence is a blessing and a curse... It's something that should never, ever be complained about, though.
ReplyDeleteNo matter the alienation, you are one of the lucky few who easily, aptly, get it. Would you rather be one of those people who delight in superficial worldliness?
I think the appropriate approach here is to wonder at why the world is so easily caught up in things such as, for example, small block chevys and hunting, rather then in the things which really matter...
What a fantastic lament, Pat. Thanks for sharing this, for it has greatly encouraged me.
ReplyDeleteMay his tribe increase..
ReplyDeleteAnonymous,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your objection/response. I appreciate the opportunity to add a point of clarity. I am not planning on getting a lobotomy so that I can have more friends. Neither do I wish that I was simple so that life could be easy.
Instead, this short, heartfelt ditty is meant to produce a rhetorical effect. I am attempting to paint a picture of what the other side of the fence can feel like, and to point out a subtle stereotype that is seldom recognized. My point is not that I would rather not be smart, but that I wish people understood that I am composed of far more than intellect, and so is my dear friend.
Anonymous, I would further suggest that if I were to lament how shallow and dumb the world can be, and if I were to do it in an intellectual way, this would be far more likely to fall on deaf ears. After all, nobody wants to hear a smart person stand there and ask them why they act dumb-ly. Do preachers and teachers think that this is really the most effective motivator?
Instead, I am trying to connect in ways that I feel more people might accept. The pretty girls might feel stereo-typed, but they may not feel that they have much in common with the "nerd" with a 150 IQ.
Overall, it is a matter of the human condition. Actually knowing and caring about people is incredibly tough. It is far easier to classify and stereotype. In so doing, we wound others without realizing...
Many thanks for your response,
Mr. K